You Can’t Complete Me

I was in University, it was the year before my friend and I decided to start dating when the movie Jerry Maguire came out with this iconic line. I remember thinking, at the time, how I wanted to be able to say that phrase myself. It took many more years for me to learn how empty and destroying that phrase was to my marriage and myself. Creating a healthier approach took even longer. When I got married I really did think that my fiancée did complete me. He was one of the first persons to whom I could speak without…

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Process, Structure & Routine

I distinctly remember yelling “I HATE ROUTINES” at my father when I was a teenager. I was determined to be creative, free-spirited, and independent from rules and structures. Yet, as a child of two highly organized, productive and confident Type-A parents, I ran into: routines structure order process I was 8 when I was first introduced to the concept of reactive vs proactive. I was encouraged to read Steven Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and introduced to the concept of the 4 quadrants. But I lived in a world of Anne of Green Gables, The Narnia Chronicles, Sherlock Holmes…

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Do you really know who you are?

Do you really know who you are? Are you the best person to answer the question “Who am I?” Have you ever thought or said: “Well, they just don’t know who I am!” “Wow, that was a nice compliment. I’ve never thought of myself that way before.” “If you only knew what I was thinking right now…” “You’re right, I would never treat a stranger that way.” Let me flip the lens around. Have you ever watched a person walk away and thought: “You have no idea! You just have no idea, do you?” “I could really help them, if…

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Not about carrots; Forget the stick!

As a leader, the need to deliver results is an all too present pressure that leads to ineffective management strategies. This applies not just to business situations, but in your volunteer and family realm as well. Often, without intention a leader will default into techniques that they know cause frustration and, if used long-term, lead to team dysfunction. In the business world this can be  implied reprimands; as a volunteer leader, dubious techniques like changing the start time for the perpetually late; and as a parent, yelling. Research consistently shows that neither the carrot nor the stick are effective long-term…

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Made to Measure?

People love to measure. Don’t believe me? Have you ever: taken a silly Facebook quiz to “find your type?” caught your reflection in a window and then discretely snuck back to take a more critical look? found yourself complaining about yourself? made a comment about someone or something that was remotely judgemental? I find that most of the time I’m the subject of my own measuring, and I do make comments about others. Thinking about it carefully, I am likely equally critical of others and myself but I’m too verbal about the commentary on others. We are in the process…

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